First of all, a shout-out to the LA Kings. I’m sorry that you are guaranteed to lose this round. (Spoiler alert: I’m picking you to win the Cup). After all, I have managed to go 3/12 through 2 rounds of playoffs. Ouch. In my NHL.com predictor pool so far, I am in the 32nd percentile, by virtue of picking two series lengths correctly. Double-ouch. Though I feel sorry for the THIRD OF PEOPLE WHO ENTERED who are doing worse than me. Seriously? This must be the most ridiculous playoffs ever!

Anyway, without further ado, here come my predictions.

(1) New York Rangers vs. (6) New Jersey Devils - Devils in 6

I’m sorry, but the Rangers have got to be gassed. Two Game 7s against teams they would have been predicted to steam roll over at the start of the playoffs. New Jersey has looked better with each passing round - they made quick work of Philly, who I believe would have made quick work of the Rangers. Sexy Hank steals two games, but in all honesty, I don’t think the Rangers have the energy to keep putting on a show. On a side note, thank you Devils for not putting me in a position where I have to pick Philly to win the Cup. That would have been physically painful to type.

(3) Phoenix Coyotes vs. (8) Los Angeles Kings - Kings in 5

Who would’ve picked that the Conference finalists would both be from the “weak” Pacific Division? The division from which every team squeaked into the playoffs? Now to analyze: the Coyotes have looked good this playoffs, but they’ve got nothing on the Kings. The Coyotes beat the teams that finished respectably in 4th and 6th in the conference. The Kings man-handled two teams that were vying for the President’s Trophy. I predict Quick will be stellar and poor Phoenix won’t know what hit them. LA have seen their chance to win the Cup, and they’re gonna go all in for it. Plus, of the teams left, I’d most want to see LA win the Cup, followed by Phoenix. Just imagine:

Phoenix wins the Cup - Mike Smith gets to laugh at the team that abandoned him, that then proceeded to fail to make the playoffs. Plus Wizard gets a Cup after turning 40. And Shane Doan gets rewarded for years of loyalty to a team no one ever gave a chance too. Tippett gets the best reward ever. Ekman-Larsson becomes the first person to have too long of a name to fit on one line only on the Cup.

LA wins the Cup - Mike Richards and Jeff Carter get to laugh at Philly for deciding Bryzgalov was more valuable than them. Dustin Brown gets rewarded for being the heart and soul of LA when it sucked. Anze Kopitar becomes even more unreal in my mind.

NYR wins the Cup - Umm… I’m having a hard time with this one… The third Staal gets his name on the Cup? Torts gets to look angry in post-Final press conferences? Henrik Lundqvist spends his day with the Cup looking stellar?

NJ wins the Cup - BRODEUR FINALLY @$##%&*@ RETIRES!!!!!!!!

Ok, so on second thought, the best possible scenario is NJ winning the Cup. But I still predict LA will do it.

Hello hello!

So like I said, because last year I did so well, this year I’m falling apart at the seams. I called the winners of four series (thanks Florida for choking to let me get that many right), and the correct number of games in one of those series. Some teams found their fight (Washington), some found their goalie (Phoenix, Washington again), and some completely lost their will to play the way they used to (Vancouver). So, here are my predictions for the upcoming round:

East

(1) New York Rangers vs. (7) Washington Capitals - Caps in 6

I’m gonna give it to the Caps. NYR almost got all they could handle against Ottawa, running into a hot goalie. Washington has a goalie who’s on a tear right now, so the Rangers won’t get cut any slack on that front. But, Washington has more firepower, and is overall, skill-wise a better team than Ottawa. If they could oust the Bruins in 7, it will take them one less to take on the Rangers who like to score 3 goals in 2 minutes and play defense the rest of the game.

(5) Philadelphia Flyers vs. (6) New Jersey Devils - Flyers in 4

No first round sweeps, so this is it. The Flyers crushed Pittsburgh, and Pittsburgh is better in every position than NJ. Brodeur may have been stellar in Game 7, but this series won’t reach a Game 7. I hate to see the Flyers make the conference finals, so here’s hoping Washington can then crush them.

West

(2) St. Louis Blues vs. (8) Los Angeles Kings - Blues in 6

The Blues were the better team during the season, and will be again. Unlike Vancouver, the Blues have everybody scoring these playoffs. Like Vancouver, LA will be hit with stellar goaltending again. It will be a low, low scoring series, and I see St Louis winning a low scoring series. Expect Quick to steal a couple though.

(3) Phoenix Coyotes vs. (4) Nashville Predators - Preds in 5

I counted on the Coyotes to lose last round, but Mike Smith proved me wrong. Thankfully, the Preds have an even better goalie who shut down an even better team last round. Nashville will bring their scoring-by-committee method to the forefront, and unlike last series, Boedker won’t be able to win games by shooting (or just sliding the puck) from everywhere on Corey “I’m supposed to cover the WHOLE NET?!?!?!” Crawford. Phoenix got lucky last round against a team with sub-par goaltending - that won’t happen this time.

So there you have it. I’m looking forward past the end of my Senators and the end of my Stanley Cup pick. New pick? The team I predicted to meet the Penguins in the finals.

Nashville beats Washington in 6 for the Cup.

(And I’m sorry for all the jinxing this may have caused.)

(Subtitled “Go Sens Go”)

So to start with, I always like to predict who’s going to win the Cup from the beginning. Last year I called Boston beating Vancouver in 7 games for the Cup, so that guarantees this year all my picks will lose first round. Here we go:

In summary, Pittsburgh beats Nashville for the Cup.

And for good measure, here are my first-round predictions explained:

NYR vs. Ottawa: Sens in 6

This one was hard. I was preparing myself for a first-round matchup with Boston, and predicting Ottawa out in 5. After all, my tactic is to always bet against your heart so that no matter what happens, some part of you is happy. But the truth is, this series I don’t doubt Ottawa as much. Ottawa’s had the Rangers’ number all year. NY has scorers, but so does Ottawa. Ottawa’s defense isn’t strong, but neither is the Rangers’, and at least Ottawa’s defenders can put up offense. Lundqvist is the best goalie in the NHL right now, but when Anderson’s hot he can be the best goalie on the ice for a few nights in a row. New York has awesome coaching, but Paul MacLean’s no slouch in beating out all predictions with what was an AHL team last year. So anything could happen. The Rangers could sweep, but I’m listening to my heart. Ottawa in 6.

Boston vs. Washington: Boston in 5

Washington just has no gas left in the tank. Boston has so much firepower on so many lines, and have the ability to physically crush a team that has limped into the playoffs. Ovi has the ability to steal one game, but only one game. Bold prediction: Holtby will have a save percentage over .850

Florida vs. New Jersey: NJ in 4

You’ve always gotta predict one first-round sweep. This is mine. How did Florida get in? Oh, only with 18 extra time losses. 18! Those get you nothing in the playoffs, so I’d be really surprised if they make any kind of noise. NJ is pretty solid this year, finishing 4th in the best division in the East. Brodeur gets a few more career playoff victories.

Pittsburgh vs. Philadelphia: Pittsburgh in 7

The toughest match-up in the East. Both teams will get hurt. Be ready for a dirty, reckless, well-fought, close, bloody series with both high-skill and low-skill games. Goaltenders with something to prove, players that hate each other, and coaches that may or may not wear skirts, this will be the series to watch. In the end, I think Pittsburgh’s depth will carry them through, but it won’t be easy. And it’ll make Mike Millbury explode with rage when they do, giving Philly incentive to lose Game 7.

Vancouver vs. LA: Vancouver in 6

This one seems eerily reminiscent of Vancouver-Nashville last year. Vancouver is the better all-around team everywhere, including at goaltending (I’d still pick Luongo over Quick to build a team around), but LA has a goalie capable of stealing games. Sounds like Nashville 2011 to me, so I gave it the same number of games.

St. Louis vs. San Jose: St. Louis in 5

I think these are the only two NHL teams based in cities named after a saint, and it might be the first time they meet in the playoffs. Interesting anecdote I don’t care enough to prove. Anyway, St Louis is firing on all cylinders, and San Jose is limping in every position. I think the bigger prediction is about Blues goalies: I say each gets 2 wins, with Halak picking up the extra loss.

Phoenix vs. Chicago: Chicago in 7

The toughest series I see in the West. Chicago has solid D, solid O, and mediocre sometimes surprising goalies. Phoenix has moderate D, solid goaltending, and mediocre but sometimes surprising offense. Kane, Sharp, Hossa, Toews (who I hope comes back) all have the ability to take over a game. Vrbata, Doan, Whitney… Vermette? don’t really strike fear into opponents’ hearts the same way. Phoenix has Yandle, but Chicago has Keith and Seabrook. Edge to Chicago, even with gamestealer Mike Smith (who is clearly not the Mike Smith of yesteryear) in net.

Nashville vs. Detroit: Nashville in 6

I think this is Nashville’s year. I like all the moves Dave Poile has made. Rinne is on fire. Suter and Weber are incredible. The scoring-by-committee method works under Barry Trotz, but just for good measure, he brings in Radulov, arguably the best player not in the NHL before March 2012. I believe. Go Preds Go! Detroit is a big challenge, with star-power in Datsyuk and Lidstrom, but in the end I can’t see those two taking this away from what is essentially Team Trotz. 6 games was picked just out of respect for Detroit’s history and players.

So there we have it - really only one upset, when you consider that Chicago and NJ both finished with more points than their higher-seed rival. And it’s not an upset when you listen to your heart. Go Sens Go!

Better Man by Pearl Jam, I panic. I go through every relationship involving my friends that I can think of in my mind and try to think if that song could be the truth about any of them.

Oh Pearl Jam, making me so paranoid.

passes without warning

without a word

without a sound

            .

it lurks in dark shadows

and at ends of corridors

you keep track of it on your wrist, in your pocket

and yet there’s that nagging feeling that it’s slipping away

or maybe It’s dragging on

            .

just bring the weekend!

just let me get out of here!

bring me back to the arms of the one I

love. Deliver me from these travails I

despise

                              .

we waste It so freely

                                             .

spend it on cheap things like talking and friendships and laughter and

words. Think! how much time you spend on a sentence

on a word, on a letter

calculate it, analyze it, and throw it away when you realize you’ve spent even more Time on this

    .

Hold it tightly, and it all runs away

Try to run away, and you can’t escape its Grasp

Interesting initiative a friend of mine started with me recently. It’s to help to get lust out of your mind, though I’m sure it could work for other mental training exercises.

- Put a rubber band on your wrist.

- Every time you have a lustful thought, snap it on your wrist. Hard!

- Then pray over it or something, but mostly, try to keep your mind purer the next time.

Not gonna lie, I think the idea’s so simple, it could work.

So, Kony 2012 has been getting a lot of coverage lately. A LOT. Granted, I haven’t watched the video, and I’m not sure I intend to. I didn’t know Joseph Kony’s name offhand three weeks ago, but I knew lots about the LRA in Northern Uganda. I knew about this man, and now I will never forget his name. I was shocked to learn how many people knew nothing of him and all he’s done. So I’d argue the campaign’s definitely been good in bringing about awareness. It has at the same time been a fascinating experiment in the power of social media as a tool for spreading ideas.

Now, there are obvious flaws. After all, everything that seems like a good idea at the time has to have a downside, right? (**cough** cynicism **cough**) This fight to stop Kony is about 10 years too late to help Northern Uganda. The shameless plea for the US to go in and save “Africans” is misguided and offensive. The way in which the money goes to stop Kony is hazy. Invisible Children itself is an awareness organization, not a development charity. Stating that the Ugandan government is the legitimate governing party is a loaded statement in that their track record isn’t particularly good either. I could go on. It’s important for people to judge the bandwagon before jumping on blindly, and I think Kony is yet another example of that phenomenon.

But that’s not what I want to say. Enough people have already criticized. What I want to do is criticize the criticizers. Send a message to all them haters. So here goes:

The first thing I want to challenge is the scoffing that this is simply a useless “awareness campaign.” I think awareness campaigns are the most useful things ever. Once you know that innocent women are raped so you can get cheaper coltan to get cheaper electronics, every electronics-based purchase in your life is then either made because of or in spite of that piece of knowledge. Money raised is gone once it’s been spent, but making people aware changes their lives, making it limitlessly useful. Making people aware of some of the struggles that people in other countries face makes us realize how fortunate we are to live in a country where a celebrity caught driving under the influence is considered news.

I also want to challenge the notion that there is no importance in being aware of problems that don’t affect you. I don’t think it’s possible to say in a global society that there are world problems that don’t affect you anymore. Or at least, I’d argue that problems in Uganda affect you as much as problems in British Columbia or Florida. You’d be shocked to hear of a man who kidnapped children for use as soldiers and sex slaves operating in Montana, so why is it less newsworthy when it happens in East Africa? Often, your lifestyle is directly responsible for the lifestyles of those in other countries. Cheap chocolate, year-round fresh fruit, soft toilet paper, cut flowers, it all affects people in other countries. And if you’re not willing to do anything to care about the lives of those overseas, then you probably owe it to all them to cut out everything from your life that affects them. Fair’s fair. (And if you take me up on that challenge, full credit. I wish you the best of luck.)

Lastly, if you spend your time telling people what a lousy charity Invisible Children is, don’t get so high on yourself. If you don’t proceed to donate to another charity, then you’re even worse. — Now it’s time for weird analogies with Ross!!!! — It’s kind of like watching a person have a heart attack, and then someone starts doing CPR on them. You watch, and say, “You’re doing CPR all wrong.” Then walk away, all proud of yourself for knowing better than that idiot, while the victim dies and the CPR attempter feels bad for a) not having saved a life, and b) having been told they were doing it wrong. I sure hope you feel proud of yourself for knowing how to save the world, but not doing it, just using your knowledge to put others down while still letting the innocent die.

Yes, I realize that I don’t agree with the Kony campaign, but rather than focusing on its negatives, I want to focus on the positives that can be gained from awareness, and the positives of so many other causes the world should go out and find. Yes, my statements above simplified this a lot, but think of it in that weird analogy context. If you agree that Invisible Children is somewhat questionable, find a charity that does work you believe in. Support small-business microloans, irrigation, responsible governance, starving children, abused animals, whatever you feel needs your support! If you’re not going to do better, then don’t criticize those who are trying. Helping people a little bit is better than not helping them at all. If you know how to save the world, then do it! DO IT! And maybe, just maybe, the haters will save the world.